


tomorrow is ours

by jedikhaleesi



Series: when to ignite the spark [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ALSO KEITH AND SHIRO IS PLATONIC SUE ME, Alternate Universe - Skating, Epistolary, Gen, M/M, Major Character Injury (mentioned), Self-Discovery, Social Media, Texting, aka: what do u do when u r forced to retire faster than u wanted to, honestly this is a labor of love so i get why nobody likes it but me LMAO, shallura bromance only in this fic >:(, tags are a mess and so is the author
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedikhaleesi/pseuds/jedikhaleesi
Summary: After the car accident that leaves him without his right arm, Shiro learns how to fit skating and love into his life again. The fit is different this time.





	1. July 2014

**Author's Note:**

> "Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose." - Lyndon B. Johnson

**Takashi Shirogane, Olympic Skating Medalist, Retires Following Car Accident**

July 12, 2014

Takashi “Shiro” Shirogane, an Olympic bronze medalist in the team event and pairs skating this year, announced his retirement following a car accident that took place on Friday.

Shirogane, 24, was taken to a hospital after the accident. His arm was in unsalvageable condition, and doctors had to amputate it.

On Saturday morning, Shirogane posted a Tweet saying, “Thank you to everyone who has supported my skating journey, especially my partner @AlluraAltea. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and it’s now over. I wish all the skaters still competing goodbye and good luck.”  
His Tweet was followed three hours later by his partner Allura Altea, who wrote, “I’ve been honored to compete with @KuroToShiro at my side for a decade. I’m honored to retire with him now and to move forward together.”

Altea grew up in Michigan but moved to Los Angeles at 14 to train with Shirogane. They trained in Los Angeles for ten years under prominent coaches Ellen Sanda and Mitch Iverson at the famous skating club widely known as “The Garrison”.

Altea and Shirogane won a Junior World Championship in 2010. They went on to win three national championships in 2012, 2013, and 2014. 

In 2012, they placed 6th at the World Championships, the highest of any American pairs team since 2006. In 2013, they won 3rd place. In 2014, after winning their Olympic bronzes, they became world champions.

“Their choreographic sequences are unparalleled,” International Skating Union commentator Ted Barton gushed in 2012. “Even when they were in juniors, the precision of their footwork, their emotionality, was levels above everyone else. They’ve only gotten better since.”

 

**Lotor Daibazaal**

@lotordaibazaal

@AlluraAltea and @KuroToShiro always lit up the ice when they performed. It’s been a pleasure competing against you.

 

Shiro watches the late afternoon sunlight streaking across the rink. It paints the people on it in gold, illuminating their every move. It glints off one girl’s blond hair and blinds him for a moment when she jumps and the sunlight flashes into his eyes. He hears, but doesn’t see, her blade come crashing down onto the ice as she lands the jump.

The stands begin to creak with the telltale sound of someone climbing up the stairs. Sure enough, when he looks down, Allura is ascending to where he’s seated in the middle row. The sunlight lights her up from behind and gives her hair a more silvery quality, different from the pure white he knows it to be. She slides into the row just below him and looks out over the ice, like an omniscient and benevolent goddess. Together they watch the blond girl- Ina, Shiro thinks distantly- launch into a triple lutz on the further side of the ice.

“Her lutz is lovely,” Allura says. She glances back at Shiro, waiting for a response. He nods and, when Allura’s face begins morphing into concern, smiles wanly at her. She smiles back, confident and sure, and turns back around.

Shiro wants to say something. He knows he’s been withdrawn for the last month, and Allura keeps trying to draw him out of his shell but he hasn’t found the energy to let her. He wants to connect to her desperately, to unfurl from himself, to follow her into the world of the perfectly content. So he says something that’s been lurking in the back of his mind for some time now, but it’s something that even he doesn’t expect himself to say. When “I’ve been having nightmares recently,” comes out of his mouth, he’s just as surprised as she is.

Allura turns back around. She’s definitely worried now. “Nightmares?” she repeats. Then, in a gentler tone, as if she’s talking to a skittish animal, “About your accident?”

“Yes,” he admits, forcing herself to meet her eyes. She meets his gaze with sympathy. Any other person would have given him cloying pity, but Allura knows what it’s like to have her world ripped from her.

“I know someone who can help,” she offers. Below, Coach Iverson yells something across the ice to Ina. Their conversation breaks off briefly as they watch Ina nod back and gesture, to which Coach Iverson shakes his head and waves his arms around. Ina repeats herself, but she must be doing something different because Coach Iverson looks pleased this time.

“That would help.” Shiro smiles at her again. It still falls flat. Allura looks far happier this time, though, because her smile is radiant. She asks, “Dinner at mine?”

“Okay,” he answers. They turn to face the ice again. There’s a pull there, something calling Shiro to wind his way between the columns of seats and down to the ice, telling him to put on his skates so he can- what? Skate laps? He can’t lift Allura into the air. He can’t throw her. He can’t do the things that pairs requires of him. That’s what keeps him in the stands, feeling loss and resentment and a little bit of jealousy, instead of daring to step on the ice once more. He isn’t even sure that he’s allowed in the practice facilities anymore. Coaches Iverson and Sanda probably just feel sorry for him and refuse to kick him out because the majority of the banners in the rink have his name on them.

He does realize that it’s probably not healthy just to come to the rink every day and stare at the practicing skaters. But he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to move on. He knows there’s a life beyond skating, but he doesn’t know how to get there.

The first step is probably getting out of here, he decides. He needs to get out into the world outside of the rink. Shiro stands up so fast from his seat that it creaks alarmingly. Allura looks over her shoulder at him curiously. “Can we go?” he asks.

“Sure,” she says, getting up much more gracefully than he just did. They walk down the stairs together. The loud creaking of the stairs draws the attention of everyone on the ice, from Ina and Coach Iverson in one corner to the far side of the ice where Coach Sanda is directing stroking exercises. 

Coach Iverson, as always, waves to them with a smile before redirecting Ina’s attention. Coach Sanda watches their progress towards the exit, saying nothing as she launches back into the drill. She hasn’t said a word to Shiro since his accident. Allura had offhandedly mentioned that Coach Sanda had offered to find her a new partner, but either Coach Sanda hadn’t meant it or Allura hadn’t cared, because he hadn’t seen hair nor hide of some “new partner”.

He pulls ahead of Allura, not because the thought unsettles him, but because he reflexively wants to get to the door first so he can open it. He leans his right shoulder against the door (and that feeling is so weird, that  _ missing _ of the rest of his arm) and opens it for her.

Shiro follows Allura out into blinding sunlight. It had looked nice falling across the rink, but outside it beats down on him relentlessly. Instinctively, he shades his eyes with his hand and squints in her direction. “Where are we going?” he asks.

With her classy sunglasses down over her eyes, Allura flips her car keys between her fingers. “Anywhere you want,” she offers.


	2. August 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro lets Allura drag him a little further out of his shell, and replies to a text from someone he once loved.

The stoplight turns green, and Shiro looks left and right before rolling out into the intersection. He steps onto the accelerator gently, giving his car a bit more speed, when he sees a car pull up quickly into the right turn lane on one side of the intersection. He doesn’t think much of it until he realizes that the car hasn’t stopped and is now turning right  _ directly into him- _

Shiro startles awake. He isn’t on the road, he isn’t driving his car. He’s in bed in his apartment, and he is reliving probably the worst moment in his life. For a moment, he lies in place, paralyzed by the memory, before turning over to unlock his phone. It opens onto a text message that he’d been trying to reply to for weeks now.

 

**Adam**

July 12, 2014 at 5:08 P.M.

Hey Takashi, I just heard about your accident. I’m really sorry about your arm and your skating career. Sending well wishes your way and hoping you get better soon.

 

Shiro sighs and scrolls up to the last text messages they had exchanged before it.

 

**Shiro**

January 30, 2013 at 1:32 P.M.

Are the movers finished packing your stuff?

 

**Adam**

January 30, 2013 at 1:43 P.M.

Yes the movers are done.

 

He and Adam had started dating in 2011, when Shiro and Allura were just starting out on the senior circuit. At first, Adam had been just as excited as Shiro about the trajectory of their skating career. He had encouraged Shiro through the entirety of their first senior season, as he and Allura had struggled more than they had anticipated. Then in January 2012, he had cheered when they had won their first national championship.

It was the fall of 2012 when their relationship started going downhill. The USFSA had assigned them to two Grand Prix competitions, which meant Shiro was spending more time in the rink than he was with anyone else in his life, including Adam. Shiro hadn’t realized that they were growing so far apart until he came back from his second Grand Prix assignment and he and Adam barely said a word to each other. He didn’t have time to resolve it, though, because Nationals was close and he needed to practice. He had vowed to make it better, when he did have the time. The day he returned to his apartment, gleefully clutching his third gold medal, Adam had been waiting for him on the couch.

“Takashi, I can’t do this anymore,” he had said, looking anywhere but Shiro’s gold medal.

Shiro had immediately understood what he was talking about. He knew what was coming next, but in his heart of hearts he had valiantly hoped that it wouldn’t happen. 

Adam had looked him straight in the eyes then. “I thought that maybe I could be as important to you as skating is, but I don’t think that’s possible.”

“You are important to me,” Shiro had protested.

Adam had smiled ruefully. “Not as important as I would like to be.” He had started packing the next day, and Shiro hadn’t heard from him after that.

Which is why it’s a little jarring to have this text sitting in his phone now. Shiro’s not quite sure why Adam reached out to him, or how to respond. It’s August 12 (and then Shiro looks over at the clock, and nope, it’s August 13 now) and he still hasn’t replied. He sighs again. This is going to bother him until he responds.

 

**Shiro**

August 13, 2014 at 12:44 A.M.

Hey Adam, sorry I didn’t reply earlier. Thanks for the wishes. I hope you’ve been doing well.

 

There. It’s done. He turns his phone off, places it back on his nightstand, and shuts his eyes tight.

It seems like only a moment has passed when Shiro wakes to the sound of Allura letting herself into his apartment. He leans over to check the time and it’s only 5 A.M. Why she’s over here at this hour when they no longer have morning practice is a puzzle to him, but he rolls out of bed to greet her.

He finds her in the kitchen, filling up her water bottle with the pitcher that sits on his counter. “Morning,” she says cheerfully. She makes the kitchen seem so much smaller. Or maybe that’s just Shiro missing Adam even though their breakup was a year and a half ago, who knows.

“Morning,” he says back. “Uh, Allura, can I ask why you’re here?” She hasn’t been here in a month. The day of his accident she showed up and they ate breakfast and they walked to the rink and then at night he had his accident and she stopped coming. Now she’s here again.

“We’re going on a run,” she announces brightly.

Shiro racks his brain and tries to figure out when they arranged this. He’s fine with running, likes it even, but can’t remember for the life of him the conversation that led to this. “Are we?” he asks.

“Yes! So go change. Put on some sneakers, at least.” Her no-nonsense tone clearly says,  _ If you try to fight me, you won’t win _ . And it’s not like Shiro has anything to occupy his days anymore. Before, he would be almost ready to go to the rink at this time. It’s the after and he can no longer skate, so he might as well go along with the plan Allura’s cooked up. He goes back into his bedroom, pulls out his sneakers, and promptly realizes that he has a problem.

He doesn’t know how to tie his shoes with only one hand. The reason he hasn’t encountered this problem yet is because it’s summer, so he can get away with flip-flops. Even in the rink, he’s been wearing those, not really caring how he looks. It didn’t matter because he wasn’t going to get on the ice anyway.

He goes back out to the kitchen, where his phone is, and opens Youtube with rising embarrassment. He can’t meet Allura’s eyes.  _ Tie shoelaces one-handed _ , he types into the box, and looks for something to lean his phone against.

Allura’s hand comes to rest on the back of his phone. “I’ll hold it,” she says.

“Thanks.” He kneels down, looks up at his phone, and follows the instructions. The first time it doesn’t turn out right, but before he even says anything Allura replays the video. Shiro finds himself grateful. This connection, this synchronization, has gotten them through dozens of competitions and hundreds of practices, and it means that even in this life without the sport that first drew them together, Allura can anticipate his needs. 

It takes one more try before he makes a knot secure enough for a run. “Okay,” he says, looking down at the knot. He knows it won’t fall apart, but he feels like it’s going to if he even breathes on it. “Okay.” He stands up and takes his phone back from Allura. “I’m good.”

She smiles brightly at him. “Then let’s go.”  _ To the rink _ , Shiro almost hears, like an afterthought. It’s his own, not hers. 

Is that why she’s here? Is the echo of skating that follows him around everywhere just that obvious? Or does she hear the _khhhh_ _khhhh khhh_ of the blades in her mind the way he does? Does she feel the absence of skating the way he does?

They run past the rink twice during the next hour. When Shiro sees Allura’s head turn toward the rink and stay there, gazing at it, until their legs take them well past, he knows the answer.

It takes everything in him to say it, but as they reconvene in his kitchen, Shiro musters up his courage and says, “I meant it when I said that you could find another partner.”

Allura tenses and then turns around, eyes on fire. “And I meant it when I said that I’m not going to let you do this alone.”

“But you miss it,” Shiro presses.

“Not as much as I would miss you.” Allura stares him down. With the force of her presence, she takes up the entire space in his dimly-lit kitchen. It wasn’t just Shiro being a lonely soul. She really does fill the space.

Shiro feels the full weight of those words like someone’s just swung a baseball bat into his stomach. He kind of wants to cry. Instead, he takes one giant step forward and hugs her tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part of this chapter was supposed to go in a different direction, but it decided to run away from me.


	3. September 1-15, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Allura head to their first competition since their retirement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No actual writing, loosely based off a chat fic format with Tweets and results interspersed.

SEP 1, 8:13 P.M.

**Keith**

Hey are you free on the 11th and 12th?

 

**Shiro**

Yup. Why?

 

**Keith**

Do you want to watch me compete at USIC?

 

**Shiro**

USIC?

 

**Keith**

The ISU is starting a new series of competitions called the Challenger Series. USIC stands for United States International Classic.

 

**Shiro**

Oh ok

Where is it?

 

**Keith**

Salt Lake City

 

**Shiro**

I’ll be there.

  
  


SEP 1, 8:16 P.M.

**Shiro**

Keith asked me to go to USIC. Want to come with?

 

**Allura**

Yes that sounds wonderful!

* * *

**Garrison Skating Club**

@GarrisonSkateLA

Team photo! Good luck to our competitors in men’s singles, ladies’ singles, and pairs skating for #USIC14 this weekend. See you soon, Salt Lake City! Go #TeamGarrison

_ [A photo of Keith, Leifsdottir, Hunk, Pidge, Iverson, and Sanda grouped together on the ice. Keith, at the edge of the photo, is wearing his trademark scowl. Leifsdottir looks at the camera straight on, not smiling but not displeased. Hunk and Pidge are smiling brightly along with Coach Iverson next to them. Behind everyone else, Coach Sanda is pursing her lips at the camera.] _

Tagged: U.S. Figure Skating, Keith Kogane, Ina Leifsdottir, Hunk Garrett, Katie Holt

 

**Allura Altea** ✓

@AlluraAltea

@KuroToShiro and I are in Salt Lake City to cheer on our former rinkmates @k3ithk0gan3 @InaLeif @hunkthechef @pidgegunderson this week! #USIC14 here we come!

|

**dani | allura is queen**

@_daniellebolton

Replying to @AlluraAltea

Can we please talk about keith’s emo handle

|

**Romelle Arus** ✓

@AWildRomelle

Replying to @AlluraAltea

pics or it didn’t happen

|

**Allura Altea** ✓

@AlluraAltea

Replying to @AWildRomelle

At the request of @AWildRomelle…

_ [A selfie of Allura and Shiro giddily pointing up at an airport sign that reads ‘Welcome to Salt Lake City’.] _

Tagged: Shiro Shirogane

|

**yuzu is #1**

@yuzu_love_4ever

Replying to @AlluraAltea

IS SHIRO’S HAIR GOING WHITE

* * *

SEP 11, 7:58 P.M.

**Shiro**

Allura where are you?

 

**Allura**

At the arena

 

**Shiro**

What?

Wait, the pairs short program is happening right now

Are you watching it without me?

 

**Allura**

Yes?

 

**Shiro**

Why?

 

**Allura**

I’m sorry, Shiro, I just didn’t know if you were ready to watch pairs from the other side.

 

**Shiro**

The only way to know if I’m ready is if I try.

 

**Allura**

I’m sorry

We can watch the free skate together? I’m sure there are still tickets available.

Shiro?

Did I make you angry?

 

**Shiro**

Sorry, had to catch the shuttle from the hotel to the arena. 

Let’s watch the free skate together

And no, you didn’t make me angry, I just don’t want to be treated like glass.

* * *

SENIOR PAIRS

SHORT PROGRAM RESULTS

Start time: Sep 11, 7:20 P.M.

Place            Name                             Score

3                 Katherine HOLT            48.16

                   Hunk GARRETT, USA

 

SENIOR MEN

SHORT PROGRAM RESULTS

Start time: Sep 11, 8:25 P.M.

Place          Name                              Score

2                Keith KOGANE, USA        78.96

  
  


SEP 11, 9:32 P.M.

**Shiro**

Nice job today

 

**Keith**

I fell on the first jump combo and didn’t get a good score on the step sequence

 

**Shiro**

Take the compliment

You rushed too quickly into it I think

 

**Keith**

Don’t say it

 

**Shiro**

Patience yields focus

Hey, what’s wrong with my motto?

 

**Keith**

You’re so corny

Hey can I get some advice

 

**Shiro**

On the jump combo?

 

**Keith**

No

How did you and Allura deal with Sanda’s disappointment?

 

**Shiro**

Is she disappointed with your placement? You’re 2nd right now

 

**Keith**

She’s mad about my mistakes

 

**Shiro**

What about Iverson?

 

**Keith**

He said it was good, but Sanda wasn’t happy

 

**Shiro**

She’s… she’s really hard to make happy. I think what impresses her is when people promise to work hard and then carry through with that promise by internalizing her feedback.

 

**Keith**

That’s good advice

 

**Shiro**

...but?

 

**Keith**

Ever since you and Allura retired, Sanda’s become harder and harder to deal with. No one matches up to her standards anymore, and you guys aren’t around to stand up to her. 

 

**Shiro**

I’m sorry to hear that, especially since all the remaining skaters at the Garrison are really amazing. Anything I can do?

 

**Keith**

Refer me to another coach? Lol

 

**Shiro**

I wouldn’t take such a drastic step yet.

 

**Keith**

It was a joke, calm down old man

 

**Shiro**

Did you just call me an old man

 

**Keith**

Have you seen Allura’s tweet? Your fringe is turning white

 

**Shiro**

Who says that’s not a fashion choice

 

**Keith**

Your dignity

 

**Shiro**

Ok, rude

* * *

_ [Transcription of recording made on 09/11/14 by Bii-Boh-Bi] _

_ SHIRO: Oh, hi Bii-Boh-Bi. Why am I in Salt Lake City? To watch Keith. He asked me to come, and to be honest with you, I haven’t really been doing much since my accident. It was a good excuse to get out of my apartment.  _

_ [Shiro laughs sheepishly.]  _

_ SHIRO: My plans for the future? Uh, honestly I don’t know yet. I’ve been trying to recover and regroup. Allura’s been at my side the entire time. She always reminds me to keep moving forward instead of staying in the same place. It’s been hard, but with time I think I’ll make progress. _

_ [Bii-Boh-Bi says something that comes over as static in the recording.] _

_ SHIRO: Words for my fans? Ok. Thanks so much to everyone who’s supported me and Allura. It still means a lot to us, even though we’re not skating anymore. And to everyone who doesn’t know where they’re going, I don’t know where I’m going either [another laugh] so let’s figure it out together. _

* * *

**U.S. Figure Skating** ✓

@USFigureSkating

Guess whom we found at the #USIC14 Senior Pairs free skate? None other than the legendary @AlluraAltea and @KuroToShiro! And they’ll be watching the Senior Men free skate too!

_ [A photo of Allura and Shiro sitting next to each other in the stands. They’re smiling close-mouthed at the camera. On the ice below, five pairs teams are practicing.] _

Tagged: Allura Altea, Shiro Shirogane

|

**Carey**

@oganebois

Replying to @USFigureSkating

i love you @AlluraAltea @KuroToShiro

|

**mariah <3**

@avemariah

Replying to @USFigureSkating

So good to see you two out and about again! From all the shallura fans, we miss you!

  
  


SENIOR PAIRS

FREE PROGRAM RESULTS

Start time: Sep 12, 7:50 P.M.

Place           Name                             SP Score        FP Score       Total Score

3                 Katherine HOLT             48.16            90.36           138.52

                   Hunk GARRETT, USA

 

SENIOR MEN

FREE PROGRAM RESULTS

Start time: Sep 12, 9:05 P.M.

Place           Name                            SP Score       FP Score       Total Score

2                 Keith KOGANE, USA       78.96          161.26         240.22

* * *

SEP 13, 7:10 A.M.

**_Allura Altea created a chat with Hunk Garrett and Katie Holt._ **

**Allura**

Hello Pidge and Hunk!

I really enjoyed your performances this weekend.

 

_ Katie Holt changed her nickname to Pidge. _

 

**Pidge**

Thanks Allura!

 

**Hunk Garrett**

Allura! Thanks so much that means so much to us!

 

**Allura**

Of course, you deserve it. Let’s keep in touch, okay?

 

**Pidge**

Bet

 

**Hunk Garrett**

You’re never going to hear the end of us

* * *

**Allura Altea** ✓

@AlluraAltea

Back to LA now that #USIC14 is over!

_ [A photo of Shiro looking out an airplane window.] _

Tagged: Shiro Shirogane

|

**yuzu is #1**

@yuzu_love_4ever

Replying to @AlluraAltea

his hair really is going white

|

**keith kogane** ✓

@k3ithk0gan3

Replying to @AlluraAltea

@KuroToShiro see i’m not the only one who noticed it. buy some dye, old man

|

**Shiro Shirogane** ✓

@KuroToShiro

Replying to @k3ithk0gan3

leave me alone, angsty emo teen

|

**kelly**

@queendaibazaal

Replying to @KuroToShiro @k3ithk0gan3

get you a bromance like this


	4. September 17-19, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we're off to Michigan! Why? Shiro certainly doesn't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewrote this chapter three times lol

It’s the Tuesday after their return from Salt Lake City. They’ve just finished their daily morning run and Shiro is raiding his fridge for breakfast when Allura says, “I’m going to Michigan next week. Do you want to come?”

Shiro accidentally pushes a bottle of Sriracha off the shelf and almost hits his head on the inside of the fridge as he turns to look at her. The bottle hits his foot, and he hears something go  _ splat _ on the floor. He ignores all of it. “You’re going to Michigan? Why?”

“It’s my home,” Allura says. Shiro immediately feels guilty. Of course. Allura moved from Michigan to train with him. Now that they’re no longer training, of course she wants to go back. “One of my father’s good friends still lives there. I want to see him, and I thought I might introduce the two of you.”

“Okay,” Shiro agrees tentatively. He still doesn’t have anything to fill his days. It’s all beginning to weigh down on him: the realization that he doesn’t have skating anymore, that he doesn’t have a job like a normal adult, that he needs to pay his bills somehow, that he maybe needs more help than he wants to admit. Running off to Michigan and pushing those problems off is probably not the smartest strategy, but it’s easier than dealing with them head on while Allura enjoys herself half a country away.

* * *

**Allura Altea** ✓

@AlluraAltea

We’re off to Michigan! Excited to see home. It’s been too long.

_ [A selfie of Allura holding up her plane ticket. Shiro is a blurry figure in the background with his eyes weirdly lit up by the flash from her phone.] _

Tagged: Shiro Shirogane

|

**CRYPTID SKATERS EVIDENCE**

@skatersarecryptids

Replying to @AlluraAltea

Cryptid #132: Takashi SHIROGANE. Or is it Shiro Shirogane? Hmm....

|

**Shiro Shirogane** ✓

@KuroToShiro

Replying to @skatersarecryptids

I don’t even know how to feel about this

|

**keith kogane** ✓

@k3ithk0gan3

Replying to @KuroToShiro

you should feel honored

* * *

The first stop in their grand Michigan tour is an ice rink. Of course. Shiro doesn’t know if he should be surprised. The doors to the rink are covered in posters offering weekend skating lessons for children, but on this Thursday morning the parking lot is utterly deserted. When they enter, there are two ice dancers practicing as their coach stands by the far barrier.

Shiro barely recognizes any of them, but Allura’s face lights up as soon as she sees the coach’s violently orange hair. “Coran!” she calls. 

“Allura!” Coran shouts back, just as delightedly. He rushes over to their side of the ice with his students following close behind. As they draw closer, Shiro finally places them. They’re Lance and Veronica McClain, whom he knows better from their social media presence than any actual interaction with them. He only knows they won their first national championship this past January because he watched their vlog about it.

Coran and Allura share a hug over the rink barrier. Lance, Shiro notices, watches Allura with a growing blush on his face. Shiro’s seen that besotted look on other boys before. He tucks this observation away for later consideration and turns back to the siblings. “Hi Shiro,” Veronica says. “What brings you to Michigan?”

Shiro is about to say something along the lines of,  _ I don’t really know, I’m kind of just here _ , when Lance elbows Veronica in the ribs. “You know perfectly well what brings them here,” he says. “Come on, Vero.”

“You do?” Shiro asks. “I don’t even know.”

Lance’s mouth drops into a perfect O before he starts stammering out, “Well- I mean- we don’t really know, haha, it was just a joke-”

“You’re here to visit the University of Michigan, of course!” Coran announces out of nowhere.

“We are?” Shiro asks. He seems to be miles behind the conversation today. No one had mentioned any visit anywhere. He hadn’t even known about the ice rink until Allura had pushed him into the rental car and started driving.

“It’s my father’s alma mater,” Allura explains. “I’ve always wanted to visit. I thought you might like to see it?”

That’s how they end up walking around the UM campus. Coran is their overenthusiastic tour guide, and Lance and Veronica add snarky comments whenever they can get a word in edgewise. Shiro takes in every inch of the campus with wide, disbelieving eyes. He’s visited maybe two colleges in his life, and one was for Allura’s graduation ceremony. She had put herself through college while they were still skating, unlike Shiro, who hadn’t even bothered looking into colleges after high school. Skating had been enough for him then. 

Shiro watches students mill around campus, and he  _ wants. _

“And to your right is Angell Hall,” Coran announces, gesturing to the vast white building with graceful columns and students sitting on its steps. “Home to the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts, as well as a beautiful observatory.”

“Observatory?” Shiro repeats. As a little boy, he had loved looking up at the sky and searching for stars. He had even imagined himself in space one day. That had been before he started imagining himself with skating medals instead.

“Well, it’s closed right now, but the planetarium is open. Would you like to go up?” Coran asks.

“Yes!” Shiro answers with more excitement than he’s had in a while.

As the elevator takes them up to the third floor, Lance says, “I love the observatory. It’s so cool!” With every other word, his gaze darts over to Allura and then away because he can’t hold it. “The campus astronomy club holds open houses on Fridays. Vero and I come when we can.” Shiro meets Veronica’s eyes. She tilts her head towards her brother and Allura almost imperceptibly and smirks. They’re thinking the same thing. He has to hold in a smile. 

“Alfor loved the observatory too,” Coran informs Allura when they enter the planetarium. The ceiling is a projector screen currently covered in the Milky Way. Shiro walks all the way into the middle and tilts his head back as far as he can. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s the best way to look at the amazing view in front of him. The colors are absolutely gorgeous. The stars, the galaxy- it’s all gorgeous.

The room has gone quiet as they all gaze up at the ceiling. Shiro’s eyes rove over the spirals of the Milky Way over and over again, and he  _ wants _ .

Coran and Allura are the first to break away from the spell the planetarium has cast, and then Lance and Veronica, and finally Shiro allows them to pull him away from the planetarium and into the bright light of day.

“Awesome, right?” Lance asks eagerly, seeking both Allura and Shiro’s approval.

“Really awesome,” Shiro confirms. Lance graces him with a wide, blinding smile. Their little group begins moving away from Angell Hall and in the direction of what Coran claims are the dorms but Veronica insists is the law school. Students flow around them with ease and grace. They seem so at home, and Shiro wants that.

Allura drops back to walk by his side as Veronica and Coran continue quarrelling about which direction the dorms are. “Is this all right?” she asks.

“Better than all right,” he reassures her. Ahead of them, Lance interjects his opinion. Coran throws his fist into the air triumphantly and Veronica frowns. Allura giggles. Shiro watches the way she moves, notes the lack of tension in her shoulders, notes that Michigan fits her. There’s an idea forming at the back of his mind, and he wants her opinion on it.“Hey, Allura…” Shiro starts.

“Yes?”

“What if… what if I applied here?”

Allura stops walking. He stops too, and when she doesn’t respond, he starts justifying himself. “I mean, you’re from here, and I figured you might like to come back? And if you come back I’d like to be close to you. And this is a great school, and I’m half in love with it already-” 

A smile breaks out over Allura’s face as she leaps forward and throws her arms around him tightly. When she draws back, she takes his remaining left hand and the stump of his right shoulder in her hands and says, “Shiro, there’s another reason I wanted to come here. I didn’t just want to introduce you to Coran.”

“There’s another reason?” He really is miles behind everything. He hadn’t suspected anything else beyond what Allura had told him a few days ago.

“I want to become a coach.” The words burst out of Allura’s mouth like she’s been holding them in for months. She probably has. Allura has always been a long-term planner. “I want to coach, Shiro, and I want to do it here. I talked to Coran, and he and Lance and Veronica are willing to share the rink with me as long as I can recruit students.” She looks up at him, absolutely giddy, and Shiro feels buoyed up by her enthusiasm. He can feel his smile splitting his face. There’s a world of possibilities opening up before his very eyes. In his mind, he can see himself walking along the campus sidewalks with purpose. He can see himself on Friday evenings with Lance, taking advantage of the observatory open houses. He can see Allura leaning over the rink barrier and coaching students while Coran works with his own. Her skaters are faceless, and the UM students that Shiro’s imagining himself talking to are faceless, but these dreams feel real. Like if they turn around the next corner the lives they’re designing for themselves will suddenly be there.

The first thing he wanted after his accident was to step foot on the ice again. To be whole. That’s impossible. But this? This college, this transition from student to coach? This isn’t impossible. He can want this, and more importantly, he can get it.

He tightens the one hand he still has around Allura’s and says, “Then let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: has never seen um in my entire life  
> also me: shiro is going here. go blue.


	5. October 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro tries to write an essay. He gets distracted by the Skate America pairs short program and an unexpected text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is lowkey filler and then it got so long that I had to separate the actual content into another chapter. Be prepared for two November chapters, whenever I actually get around to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**U-M Admissions** ✓

@UMichAdmissions

#Wolverines2019, don’t forget: the application deadline for fall 2015 is December 1! #GoBlue

 

October 25, 2014

On screen, Hunk threw Pidge into a huge triple loop. Shiro whistled at the height on the throw and then looked back down at his computer. The screen, half-filled with lines of incoherent thoughts, stared back at him menacingly. He was trying to write his personal statement, but he hadn’t written an essay in a while and it was coming back to haunt him.

Next to him, Allura hummed thoughtfully. Shiro glanced up to see Pidge frantically skating after Hunk, clearly having fallen on the side-by-side triple salchow. “Uh oh,” he said.

“Their technical elements aren’t too bad, actually,” Allura commented. Her gaze was fixed intently on the screen, following every move Hunk and Pidge made. “I think they just need a confidence boost. I would like to see them work on their performance components more.”

Shiro focused entirely on the TV so he could see what she was referring to. Hunk and PIdge were entering their step sequence. They looked awkward, almost robotic, which probably meant that they felt no emotional connection to their music. Shiro listened a little more closely to figure out what was playing and almost laughed when he realized that it was Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. “I don’t think this is the right piece for them,” he said.

“It’s really not,” Allura replied. The corners of her mouth were turned up slightly, like she was trying to hold in a laugh. As the choreographic sequence finally ended, Pidge’s face shifted into obvious relief. Shiro couldn’t hold in a chuckle.

His computer screen had gone dark, so he tapped the keyboard to get it going again. The page was still full of sentence fragments. How was he supposed to string them together into a 650 word essay?

“Just start writing,” Allura said next to him. Shiro met her gaze, frowning, and noticed that Hunk and Pidge had finished their program. They looked displeased with themselves. Allura followed his gaze. “They overthink when they skate,” she said. “You’re overthinking this essay.” 

“I just don’t want it to be bad,” he confessed. “And everything that I have right now is bad.”

“That’s because you haven’t written an entire sentence.” She smiled at him, and when he ducked his head and flushed, took his left hand and placed it on the keyboard. “Just start typing, okay? You have an entire month left. If it’s not perfect right now, that’s okay.”

“The scores for Katherine Holt and Hunk Garrett from the United States,” the announcer called out. “58.41. They are currently in first place.” 

Allura pursed her lips. With four more pairs to go, that would land them in fourth place at best. Shiro looked at Hunk and Pidge’s dejected faces, at Allura’s face, and found himself wondering why she was so invested in them. Yes, they had all been rinkmates before Shiro’s accident, but they hadn’t been close.

Then he remembers Allura, holding on to the stump of his shoulder and his hand and surrounded by the beginnings of a Midwestern fall.  _ I talked to Coran, and he and Lance and Veronica are willing to share the rink with me as long as I can recruit students.  _

_ As long as I can recruit students. _

“Do you want to coach them?” Shiro asks, one hundred percent certain that he already knows the answer.

After a beat, Allura answers, “Yes.” Her eyes are again glued to the screen as a Russian pair sweeps gracefully across the ice. “They have so much potential, and I don’t think Coach Sanda and Coach Iverson are helping them realize all of it.”

“And you think that you can?” He doesn’t intend for his words to be so challenging, but his voice comes out gentle.

Allura nods. “I know I can.” Her voice is steady, determined, like that day eight years ago when she turned to Coach Sanda and said that she wanted to do better, to be better. When she sounds like that, Shiro knows she’ll get her way no matter what. So he says, “Good,” and begins to laboriously type his essay.

 

**Adam**

October 25, 2014 at 12:32 P.M.

Hey Shiro, wanna grab coffee sometime?

Shiro is in the middle of figuring out how to write a particularly troublesome part of his essay when he gets the text. He’s staring so intently at an ugly grouping of words that he doesn’t even notice it until his phone buzzes again against his leg. 

Adam wants to meet up? It’s been over a year and a half since they broke up. Why text Shiro now?

He supposes the motive doesn’t matter. Adam wants to meet up with him, and Shiro needs to tell him that he’s moving away. They might not have seen each other for a while, but he thinks that Adam deserves to be told in person rather than over text. He might as well take advantage of the opportunity.

 

**Shiro**

October 25, 2014 at 12:34 P.M.

Sure

Are you available next week?

 

It doesn’t take long before Adam sends back,  _ After 10 AM. _ Shiro offers to meet him for lunch at the diner close to his apartment, which his ex agrees to surprisingly quickly. The whole interaction throws Shiro off. He stares at his phone as if answers might just spring out of the screen.

“Aren’t you writing your essay?” Allura asks accusingly over his shoulder. Shiro drops his phone, surprised. He hadn’t heard her sliding over to peer at his computer screen.

“I was,” he defends himself. “I’m going back to it now.”

“You need to get that done,” she says as yet another pairs team skates to the middle of the ice. “That way we can enjoy the ladies short program after this.”

“I will, I just got distracted since Adam asked me to get lunch with him.”

Allura looks at him in confusion, attention completely diverted from the TV screen. “You’re getting lunch with Adam?” she repeats.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t know. He just texted me asking to meet up. And it’s not like I’m doing anything...”

“You’re supposed to be writing your essay,” Allura ribs gently. “So. Adam?”

Shiro shrugs again. “Yeah.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

Shiro frowns, looks up at the ceiling, looks down at the paragraph of text he’s editing, looks at his one hand. Eventually, he decides, “No, I don’t think so.” At Allura’s skeptical expression, he adds on, “I really don’t. I thought I might tell him that we’re moving away in person.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Allura allows. “Now, get back to work. You distracted me while the Russians were getting their scores.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can reach me at crownedallura on tumblr!


End file.
